Why your employees would rather scrub a toilet than ask for help.

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This morning, I came across a study that led with this statistic: 1 in 3 employees would rather scrub a toilet than ask for help.

It made me chuckle because I know these employees – in fact, it reflects how most employees at organizations I consult with tend to act. With so much of my consultancy’s work dedicated to supporting socially-conscious organizations, I encounter a lot of green energy with employees that would prefer not to be a burden to others.

This manifests in beautiful ways: team members with deep care and affection for their colleagues, self-starters that will work late to keep a project on deadline, and a working environment that feels breezy and light. But it also yields some challenging scenarios, like spaces where conflict is often suppressed, not addressed, superficial relationships that don’t have space to deepen over time, and employees that feel burnt out and isolated even when they’re surrounded by a supportive team.

Asking for help is raw. It’s vulnerable. And it’s necessary to feel a sense of connection and safety in our interpersonal relationships, whether in an intimate relationship or with our colleagues at work.

Today’s newsletter offers some tools to help, and a roundup of the latest news and insights to power your work. We only have two learning opportunities on the calendar this month: Conflict 101 on August 25th, and Conflict 201 on August 26th. I hope to see you there!

Need something more personalized? Book time to discuss a custom workshop or consulting engagement.

Warmly,

Nicole

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Three ways to encourage employees to ask for help.

Many employees struggle to ask colleagues for help because they worry about looking incompetent, don't want to burden busy teammates, or work in environments where asking questions feels like admitting weakness. The most effective leaders tackle this by openly seeking help themselves, setting up formal peer support structures, and celebrating generous knowledge-sharing to build a culture where collaboration becomes the norm.

1. Model the behavior you wish to spark

Culture change starts with you. Make an effort to model asking for help around your colleagues. You can do this in a number of ways – ask an employee that you don’t consult with for advice on a current project during an all-hands meeting. Post a note in the team Slack channel for your colleagues’ favorite banana bread recipe. Email a few members of another team to help explain a product functionality you’re still confused on.

Whenever you can, report back publicly on what you gained by asking for support, like “shout-out to Hinda for explaining the new sharing feature the product team implemented last week. I was really struggling to understand why it drastically improves the experience for our customers.” It helps to normalize these asks.

2. Create Structured Peer Support Systems

Implement formal mechanisms like peer mentoring programs, regular "office hours" where experts are available for questions, or cross-functional buddy systems. This removes the awkwardness of cold outreach and makes help-seeking feel routine rather than exceptional.

You can also create peer mentoring space in all-hands or other scheduled meetings. For example, you can lead with “what’s one brave ask and offer you have for the team?” Employees might be quick to have an offer – like offering to copyedit, or bake something sweet – but may struggle to find one on their own. Apply the recommendations in #1 to have a few brave asks queued up by yourself and other key stakeholders, so employees know how to best use this time.

3. Reward Collaborative Behavior

Publicly acknowledge both those who ask great questions and those who provide helpful support to colleagues. Make collaboration a measured part of performance reviews. When you reward the behavior you want to see, you signal that asking for and providing help is valued, not viewed as weakness.

The key is shifting from a culture where independence is prized above all else to one where learning and mutual support drive success.

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We turn workplace disagreements into your company's invitation to foster inclusion and build psychological safety. Instead of just putting out fires, we help your teams see conflict as a powerful tool that strengthens relationships rather than damages them.

A typical engagement includes an assessment of your current conflict patterns, a hands-on workshop with real-world scenarios, and follow-up coaching to make sure these new approaches stick when things get tough.

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Learn is the consultancy arm of Reclamation Ventures, an award-winning venture studio that’s created well-known brands like Reimagined, Banned Books Book Club, and the RV Fund. Over the past five years, we’ve helped organizations create more inclusive and equitable spaces through trainings, workshops and hands-on consulting.

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