Why those team-building activities aren't working.

Fostering trust-based vulnerability without conflict resolution skills often leaves employees less connected, and more isolated, than expected.

Author

Nicole Cardoza
July 07, 2025

News and insights to reimagine how we work and thrive.

Good morning and happy Monday! As our conflict work grows across industries and clients, I’ve noted a clear and distinct disconnect: the organizations that are experiencing the most acute forms of conflict have fostered really intentional, intimate moments of connection between their peers.

This isn’t a bad thing – in fact, conflict should be counted as a metric of effectiveness. We can’t have deep conflict without deep connection. The problem isn’t the conflict itself, but that the process of building trust and encouraging vulnerability was implemented without tactical and clear conflict resolution skills.

Today’s newsletter starts with ways to explore this further at your organization, and offers additional tools for navigating an increasingly tense climate. We have three live workshop later this month that bring these practices into action – I hope to see you there.

We’re also closing our doors for new consulting engagements for the rest of the year as I head into an intense fall performing season. Wishing you and yours safety and ease in the weeks ahead.

Warmly,

Nicole

Most organizations spend money on team retreats, icebreakers, and social events. These create opportunities to spark deeper connections between peers, and often work!

But when teams aren't guided with the same intention to handle the necessary and expected conflict that arises, those newfound connections are at risk. It's like teaching people to drive only in perfect weather. When storms hit, teams crash because they haven't practiced driving in the rain, or had any inkling that the weather is expected to change. We do our teams a disservice by introducing spaces for deeper connection without naming, modeling, and normalizing the tension that deeper intimacy can yield.

Leaders who can't handle conflict keep distance from their teams. They stick to safe topics, avoid addressing performance issues, and sidestep difficult conversations. This feels inconsistent with the level of intimacy or vulnerability that team building activities require.

Organizations with low conflict competency aren't just likely to get decreased ROI from these initiatives. They're more likely to see friction increase from these activities as conflict festers. Employees may feel less trusting or prepared to engage in these spaces, and might not fully participate. Over time, the same activities that once brought colleagues closer together may drive them apart and foster fatigue and resentment.

Real connection requires pairing relationship-building with conflict skills. Teams need frameworks for addressing disagreements, clear norms for tough feedback, and practice repairing relationships after tension. Here’s how you can start:

  • Start with yourself. Do you change the subject when tension arises? Postpone difficult conversations? Address issues through other people instead of directly? Your team copies your conflict tolerance.

  • Run regular "tension checks" in team meetings. These quick check-ins can help surface brewing conflicts before they explode. Set clear rules for disagreement, including how to challenge respectfully and work through different perspectives.

  • Train your team in crucial conversation skills – not just a one-time workshop, but an ongoing practice. Start with low-stakes scenarios before high-pressure situations demand these skills.

  • Most important: model comfort with discomfort. When you show that conflict can be productive, you give your team permission to engage rather than perform.

The most equitable teams aren't those that avoid conflict, but those that have learned to handle it well. When you can disagree and still belong, challenge and still be valued, express frustration and still be heard, that's when real inclusion happens.

Conflict Evolution 101

Tuesday, July 22 | 3-5pm EST

This two-hour intensive session focuses on navigating moments of tension and conflict as they arise in professional settings. Participants will learn practical, real-time strategies for de-escalating situations, intervening effectively, and rebuilding trust after moments of rupture.

Through hands-on practice and scenario work, we’ll develop a personalized toolkit for addressing workplace tensions while maintaining cultural awareness and psychological safety.

Conflict Evolution 201

Wednesday, July 23 | 3-6pm EST

Conflict Evolution 201 is designed for practitioners who have completed our foundational workshop and are ready to deepen their practice.

This advanced session provides sophisticated tools, case studies, and extended practice opportunities to develop mastery in conflict transformation in complex professional settings.

Spark Resilience

Thursday, July 24 | 3-6pm EST

Navigating workplace dynamics while facing systemic barriers requires real resilience. This workshop gives you practical tools to maintain your energy, manage stress, and thrive—not just survive—as an underrepresented professional in any industry.

Effective Facilitation

Self-paced, always available

Diversity, equity, and inclusion are essential components of a healthy and productive workplace. In this online, virtual, and self-paced series, we will discuss facilitation techniques for equity and inclusion that can help promote these values by providing participants with practical tools and strategies to create an inclusive and equitable workplace.

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We turn workplace disagreements into your company's invitation to foster inclusion and build psychological safety. Instead of just putting out fires, we help your teams see conflict as a powerful tool that strengthens relationships rather than damages them.

A typical engagement includes an assessment of your current conflict patterns, a hands-on workshop with real-world scenarios, and follow-up coaching to make sure these new approaches stick when things get tough.

Book a free, 15-minute consultation to see how we can help.

Learn is the consultancy arm of Reclamation Ventures, an award-winning venture studio that’s created well-known brands like Reimagined, Banned Books Book Club, and the RV Fund. Over the past five years, we’ve helped organizations create more inclusive and equitable spaces through trainings, workshops and hands-on consulting.