Tip: When conflict sparks, look inwards.

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When external conflict feels overwhelming—whether with a partner, colleagues, or institutions—it may be time to look inwards. Our capacity, readiness and context for conflict is deeply shaped by how we handle internal conflict: how we respond when we feel tension, frustration or misalignment with ourselves.

Internal conflict can look like many things. Maybe you’re frustrated that, despite creating a solid workout plan that excites you, you can’t find the energy to go to the gym. Perhaps you’ve been wrestling with a big decision. Or maybe you’re feeling bewildered because your feelings about a social issue have changed.

When we struggle to feel like we belong within ourselves, we may not be able to foster that same sense for others. But we deserve that, and so do our peers. When we can proactively address conflict, we can:

1. Access greater clarity about needs and expectations, improving our self-care and increasing our capacity for any interpersonal interactions.

2. Build our conflict capacity for future internal and external situations.

3. Enhance conflict readiness, making us less likely to respond unproductively when already conflicted internally.

Try these practical approaches to building internal conflict resolution skills:

• Profile Development: Get to know the different identities, values and behaviors that are rooted in the tensions you’re experiencing. Document the different parts of yourself—those wanting to address conflict and those avoiding it—to better understand your internal landscape. Who is this part of you? What do they value most? What may they be afraid of, or require reward or validation for?

• The Chair Method: Sit facing an empty chair and express one perspective (e.g., the part of you that loves exercise). Then switch chairs and advocate for the opposing view (the part that values rest). This builds listening and communication skills.

• Letter Writing: Draft letters between your conflicting internal perspectives, ensuring both sides are fully expressed.

How has this practice helped you? Reply to this email and let me know.

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We turn workplace disagreements into your company's invitation to foster inclusion and build psychological safety. Instead of just putting out fires, we help your teams see conflict as a powerful tool that strengthens relationships rather than damages them.

A typical engagement includes an assessment of your current conflict patterns, a hands-on workshop with real-world scenarios, and follow-up coaching to make sure these new approaches stick when things get tough.

Book a free, 15-minute consultation to see how we can help.

Learn is the consultancy arm of Reclamation Ventures, an award-winning venture studio that’s created well-known brands like Reimagined, Banned Books Book Club, and the RV Fund. Over the past five years, we’ve helped organizations create more inclusive and equitable spaces through trainings, workshops and hands-on consulting.

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