Q+A: How do I help my colleagues appreciate their communication differences?

"I manage a diverse team where some people are very direct communicators and others are more diplomatic. Lately, the direct folks think the diplomatic ones are being 'fake,' and the diplomatic ones think the direct ones are 'rude.' Everyone means well, but they're driving each other crazy. Help!"

This is actually a beautiful problem to have—it means your team cares enough about each other to be frustrated when communication styles clash, rather than just writing each other off. The tension you're seeing is what happens when good people with different approaches don't understand each other's intentions.

Start by naming the dynamic openly. Help your direct communicators understand that diplomatic colleagues aren't being fake—they're creating space for people to save face and maintain relationships during difficult conversations. Help your diplomatic team members see that direct feedback isn't a personal attack—it's often how their colleagues show they care about the work and trust the relationship enough to be honest.

Create translation opportunities: "When Sarah says 'I wonder if we might consider...' she's actually strongly disagreeing with the approach. When Mike says 'This isn't working,' he's not attacking anyone—he's trying to solve a problem quickly." Teach both styles to stretch toward the middle when the stakes are high.

Lastly, spend some time celebrating these diverse differences in communication and how they can help. You can host a fun, interactive workshop on communication styles and encourage participants to role-play different scenarios, taking different approaches than what they would in a normal workplace scenario. They might learn to appreciate how directness can steer a conversation toward a conclusion, or how diplomacy enables them to approach a conversation with nuanced perspective. Regardless of how they show up, exercises like this can foster more acceptance and understanding of their colleagues and recognize their differences as strengths.

The goal isn't to make everyone communicate the same way, but to help them recognize and appreciate different approaches to the same underlying care.